Managing Anger: Techniques for Controlling and Expressing Emotions.
Written by: Hailey Moulton BA (Hons), MACP (In Progress) RP (Qualifying)
Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences, especially in stressful situations. Learning how to manage and express your anger effectively is essential for preventing it from being expressed in harmful or unproductive ways. Excessive anger can interfere with many aspects of life such as relationships, work, and overall quality of life. There are several factors linked to anger, including poor problem-solving and communication skills, as well as difficulty adapting to changing circumstances. Anger can block effective communication by interfering with how the brain processes information. When you’re angry, it’s harder to think clearly or have a logical discussion, which makes it difficult to contribute to solving problems in a helpful way (Anjanappa et al., 2013).
There are several ways to manage and control your anger while expressing your emotions effectively. The first step is to recognize your warning signs and triggers. Physical signs like muscle tension (tight chest, clenched fists), sweating, rapid heartbeat, and changes in facial expression can all signal that you’re getting angry. It’s also helpful to identify situations that trigger your anger, such as stressful environments or conflicts, as these can make your emotions stronger. Understanding the root cause of your anger is key to processing and addressing it. One way to identify underlying emotions is through an exercise like the emotional iceberg. While anger is easy to recognize, it’s often just the surface emotion, like the tip of an iceberg. Beneath the surface, there are usually other emotions at play that contribute to your anger.
Once you’ve identified your warning signs, triggers, and emotions, the next step is to focus on responding, rather than reacting. Reacting is often impulsive; we might say things we don’t mean or act quickly without thinking. Responding, on the other hand, involves taking a moment to think things through, staying calm, and being intentional in our actions. To help you respond more thoughtfully, it’s important to know when to step away and use calming techniques—like deep breathing, journaling, or talking to someone you trust. These methods can help you relax and give you the space to choose your response carefully.
One type of treatment used for anger is Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), which helps individuals cultivate compassion for themselves and others, reducing emotional distress and enhancing overall well-being (Leaviss, & Uttley, 2015). Russell Kolts’ book, The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Managing Your Anger: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Calm Your Rage and Heal Your Relationships, serves as a practical resource in this approach (Kolts, 2012). The book provides exercises, strategies, and insights grounded in CFT principles, guiding readers to identify triggers, develop emotional regulation skills, and foster kindness in their relationships.
Another treatment option for anger is cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. CBT can help people manage and reduce anger by changing unhelpful thoughts and beliefs that contribute to anger. CBT works by identifying and challenging negative or distorted thinking patterns, which can lead to more controlled and balanced emotions (Richard et al., 2022). Mindfulness-based therapy is another effective treatment for anger and aggression. It focuses on being present and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings in the moment. This awareness helps people better understand their emotional reactions and respond in a calmer, more appropriate way (Richard et al., 2022).
If you’re struggling to manage your anger, please email [email protected] or call 705-929-1612 ext 6. Our intake clinicians can match you with a qualified psychotherapist who can help you navigate these challenges.
References:
Anjanappa, S., Govindan, R., Munivenkatappa, M., & Bhaskarapillai, B. (2023). Effectiveness of anger management program on anger level, problem solving skills, communication skills, and adjustment among school-going adolescents. Journal of education and health promotion, 12, 90. https://doi.org/10.4103/jehp.jehp_1216_22
Kolts, L., R. (2012). The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Managing Your Anger: Using Compassion-Focused Therapy to Calm Your Rage and Heal Your Relationship. New Harbinger Publications.
Leaviss, J., & Uttley, L. (2015). Psychotherapeutic benefits of compassion-focused therapy: an early systematic review. Psychological medicine, 45(5), 927–945. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291714002141
Richard, Y., Tazi, N., Frydecka, D., Hamid, M. S., & Moustafa, A. A. (2022). A systematic review of neural, cognitive, and clinical studies of anger and aggression. Current psychology (New Brunswick, N.J.), 1–13. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-022-03143-6